Gay spirituality has been long sought and hard fought. Let\’s face it, a large percentage of us grew up in churches that condemned us. It is completely common to go through a strong questioning period where spiritual answers seem out of reach and you end up looking for some sort of confirmation. The problem is that there is no actual confirmation, but the journey is still well worth it.

In many cases, whether we were ready or not, our spiritual quests started in our youth. Not all of us completely grasped why condemnation of the gay population bothered us so much. Some of us understood all too well.

As time went on many of us started searching outside the church for answers. Social justice and a strong desire to move our community into the light became more of our church than the buildings with pastors and priests.

If you want to look elsewhere, you don\’t have to go digging around in a church to find your gay spirituality. Sometimes finding a church is the best thing. Other times finding the answer all on your own makes more sense. While there have been many figures reaching out to us in the past, there are now safe places for us to congregate and be accepted for our character.

For those of us that were born in very religious or religiously strict families, the spiritual journey can be difficult and even painful. The idea that we could pray ourselves straight of that the head of the church could \”fix us\” was not only uninformed, but outright damaging to a young person\’s self image. There will probably never be an admission from such churches that their practices were damaging, and looking for one will not lead to the confirmation you want.

This means that you never have to set foot into an organized church if you prefer not to, as the answers aren\’t likely to come from a single man or woman of the cloth. Rather, spiritual answers tend to come from within. They come in the form of a loved one or a partner. They come in the form of a sense of self and a strong sense of owning your sexuality. They come in little tid bits all throughout life. They come in moments that you recognize but often aren\’t sure what to call them.

When you find that spiritual beliefs and religious beliefs don\’t actually stem from the same place, your spiritual journeys become lighter and more involved. We have sat in classrooms or listened to our parents as they taught us religion. We feel spirituality. We bring it forth from a place inside that is often fleeting for those of us who resist the idea. Embracing those moments brings your spirituality straight to the surface.

In today\’s world your spiritual existence comes from within. You can join churches and other religious organizations that are accepting and welcoming. But until you find that gay spirit is more about finding that spark within you, the journey can become too hard. Learning to take the journey from within makes it all worthwhile.

Piece by Howie Holben about gay retreats and gay vacations for singles.