When we hear the word child, anger is usually not the first thing that comes to mind. Children, like all humans, have feelings. In fact, they have the same exact feelings adults have. The difference is that children have often not mastered the art of managing their feelings. Child anger can be a real problem for teachers and caregivers.
Some adults even have problems with the intense feeling of antagonism. Secondary emotions like annoyance, sadness, and jealousy have at their base primary emotions such as fear or hurt. It’s important to understand this about anger to facilitate better ways of dealing with feelings. The more we understand, the easier we can manage any problem.
When a child or adult is in the midst of a major emotion such as anger, they don’t commonly stop to think about what is causing it or positive ways to channel it. This is where a caring adult can help. The adult must come from a calm place and have good mastery of their own emotions to be able to help the child. Modeling good behavior is one important practice.
You probably feel frustrated and perhaps angry yourself if you are dealing with child’s bad temper. No matter how you feel, you need to stay calm and slow things down if you want to be effective and handle the situation in a positive way. If you can’t handle your emotions, it’s hard to imagine a child doing so.
Talk to the child about feelings. That’s the first step in dealing with emotional outbursts and undesirable behaviors that stem from them. By talking with the child, you help them begin to comprehend their feelings. You can help them start thinking of other possible outcomes. Ask them lots of questions to get them thinking. Ask them questions all the time. Get that little mind working. When people use the analytical mind, feelings get stopped in their tracks.
Helping children start a conversation about their feelings will enable them to think more about their reactions in the future. The conversations we had as children are always a part of us. If you don’t know how to talk about feelings, it might be good to read books with the child that talk about feelings and ask the child questions about the book. Do you ever feel like that? What makes you feel that way?
Trauma and loss can result in lots of anger for small children. They already feel helpless and like they don’t have control much of the time. If the child you are concerned about is dealing with a painful loss, it’s advised to seek professional counseling. A professional can help you figure out the best methods for an individual child’s problems.
Lastly, if you are dealing with an angry child, consequences are an important part of the equation. Consequences should be appropriate to the child’s age. Sometimes children can be involved in the decision as to what their consequences should be. That helps them feel empowered and get past their emotional reactions. Loss of privileges or additional chores are options. Don’t forget to reward them when they do manage to handle their anger appropriately. While it may be overwhelming at first, but it is a manageable situation. It can also be an important opportunity to connect and learn about a child.
How do you know the anger free management technique that is best to use in stressful situations? If your temper is uncontrollable, you should attend some anger management counseling sessions. Our website (and its free information) is only a click away!


